I wanted to be a horse trainer living in the woods with d animals, because people gave me so much grief. After processing my childhood traumas I became an Ayurvedic physician.
I was really shy and preferred young children and animals for a long time, myself. My daughter does massage therapy and other body work. I could never do that. I barely like getting massages. I do reiki. I don't have to touch anybody. I love hugs and cuddling, though.
It seems like those of us who cannot easily find our way, in the insane society we were born into, have similar threads running through our lives: shyness, peace activism, truth telling of all kinds, etc.
As sensitive souls, especially sensitive children, withdrawal from the insane asylum is a reasonable choice. After spending decades deprogramming and processing the trauma of being born sane in an insane world, we discover the gifts we have to offer, our Dharma.
BTW, I was recently in Ireland and saw the name Sheehan sprinkled around liberally, especially in Dublin, on the side of a truck that sold veggies I think.
It was an amazing experience attending the Tuatha de Danaan festival in Cork. Check out the Substack "The West's Awake" to view some of the presentations. You would love that crowd - 300 Truth tellers and Freedom Fighters from all over the Emerald Isle, were gathered there for the weekend.
The intelligence agencies were there apparently, as my laptop was hacked into and I still havent been able to get it back online.
I think that low self esteem is a consequence of being born a round peg expected to fit into a square hole. You cant figure out whats wrong with you, until you realize that it's not you, it's THEM.
Same here ... I had to force myself to break out of low self esteem.
Have no brothers and sisters, so kept trying to overcome social awkwardness. Learned to laugh at myself and found out others eventually laughed with me not at me, or at least I no longer cared if they laughed at me, lol. Thankfully, like you, I figured out early that the bullies and mean girls were the ones who didn't like themselves. Now I go out in public all the time with an ASD adult son, and places that we frequent are friendly to us :)
I wanted to be a truck driver, but was told by my middle class family that I really wanted to be a doctor or lawyer. I dropped out of college three times, then went to technical school and became an Electronics Technician. I like to fix things, so it was a good choice for me.
Electronics Technician is what my Dad learned from the GI Bill after WWII. They changed his job description to "Avionics Technician" in the airlines around 1968. It is an excellent skill and he gave his family a great life with it :^)
I wanted to be a truck driver too. I thought it was the best job in the world, to travel coast to coast and get paid for it. I got meself pregnant while in the middle of truck driving school in San Antone. When I told my son's father that I would take the little guy with me on those long hauls, he said, "Oh no you're not." and that was all she wrote, as they say in Texas.
In hindsight, it wouldnt have been so good for a lady unless the hubby was into it too. So it all worked out for the best.
From my Kindergarten through Grade 5 school years, I wanted to be an Elementary Teacher and that's what I became after many years of university training. Now I'm retired and old, but I will NEVER forget my precious grade 2- grade 4 students. Teaching them to read and write about their highest passions with skill was the love of my life. I often think of them fondly and wonder how they are and where they are, now that they are in their 30's. I've even thought of somehow planning a reunion but that would be difficult as I taught in the USA but I immigrated to Canada 15 years ago. If anyone is considering the teaching profession, I would highly recommend it, especially if you are outgoing and enjoy people. But there is a LOT of preparation in teaching. From my early teaching years until I retired from teaching, my work weeks always came to 65 hours a week, due to all the prep time involved. But all the work and time was worth it because those precious children were such a joy, even now in my old lady memories.
In seventh grade (Catholic School) I determined I wanted to be either a Priest or scientist, because both, I thought, embodied the search for truth. Two years of seminary school cured me of my priestly ambitions. Later, I got a degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences and programming computers became my profession.
My school existed to churn out blue collar workers. University was for "the smart kids". to best of my knowledge no one from my school (certainly my year) pursued further education.
With hindsight I'm not so disappointed about this as I've grown to question if the system actually educates or just churns out programmed proles.
More than a profession, I was more concerned by the need to do something with my life. Not in an earth changing aspect (though that would be nice), but I felt a need to break the mould. I hope I achieved this to some degree when migrating from the UK in 1997 to Florida. Although I'm a harsh critic of US politics, I do believe the US has a great deal to offer.
If I could turn back the clock, I think I'd like to have got into politics, though in truth, I don't think my personality would be suited to it. Honesty would be my Achillies heel.
Thank you Cindy for giving us a break from all the god-awful practices of the evil, US empire.
When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a preacher-man because I loved my grandmother's church.
When I was in high school, I wanted to be a civil engineer because I was so good at math. In 1960, I campaigned for JFK after hearing his campaign speech in Baltimore.
In 1966, I dropped out of college and enlisted in the military to make the world safe from all those evil, godless communists in Viet-Nam. I was totally brainwashed by the establishment narrative, and my father and uncles all went to WW-II & Korea to fight the evil fascists and communists, so I felt I had to do my duty for god and country.
After 21-months of trauma in combat, I was a broken man, and began to hate the US for all the killing and destruction we did in Viet-Nam. After returning from the war, I joined Viet-Nam Veterans against the war. I graduated from college on the GI bill as a mining engineer. After five years in the mining industry, I changed careers to become a teacher working with at-risk teens in an alternative high school.
During all this time, my binge drinking and war trauma destroyed two marriages.
In 1992, I lived in a Buddhist monastery and then a Sufi-community for several years to find my way out of the ''dark night of the soul.''
After the Iraq war, I left the US and lived in communist China for a time. There I found my current wife who helped me become a human man person again.
I'm 76 years old now, with lots of old age ailments, and the only things that keep going are the my love of family, and my love of Beauty: nature, art, literature, poetry, and classical music.
I have no way of knowing why I exist in the miracle of self-awareness in my human life form.
I know that death will set me free (Nirvana, per the Buddha), and that I am to help those in need (Mt.25:35-40, per the historical Jesus).
I also know that the heartless, evil, sovereign rulers of the world –who worship wealth, power, greed, hatred, ignorance, stupidity, and glory, –will not be vanquished until a thermal-nuclear war, or a climate catastrophe destroys human civilization.
I was expected to be a teacher, so that's what I "wanted". I was probably built to be something like an editor or typographer, and finally ended up using those skills in programming.
My parents steered me that way too, so in college it was "Education Major". I only went as far a AA, but it did help open doors for administrative work in university.
What a great idea...a break from politics by remembering who we are. I didn't have any actual aspirations as a kid. I used to spend a lot of time cooking...never wanted to be a chef....drawing...was intimidated by art teachers... and always writing...I wrote stories as soon as I learned how to read and was always happiest when I was doing so. I also liked leading small gangs of younger kids on adventures in my seaside town which I did pretty well ....like imaginary safaris ...and I loved anything that had to do with movies, theatre and singers...So I guess I basically ended up doing what I wanted. I never ever wanted to have or raise kids but I liked being around them and still do...all ages...teaching them and having fun....we are what we are I guess...I think politics gives me a royal pain in the butt, sleepless nights and headaches...because it's messy and there are no happy endings and no one to take on an adventure that's imaginary...oh wait....lol
I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals (still do). Since I came from way old school parents (girls marry and only nursing was accepted as a occupation), I was not supported either mentally or financially. So, I chose to win every contest and scholarship I could (mainly science fairs). Put myself through college with 4 scholarships and working. Ended up with Ms, Ms, PhD. in physiology with biochemistry emphasis. Glad I didn't do vet medicine although I taught pre-vets because of all the treatments shoved down animal owner throats and that you have to deal with so many people.
My first intellectual-type interest at an early age was Geography, which led into History, Politics and Philosophy. I had the bizarre experience of being a Jehovah's Witness from the ages of 6 to 13, which did have the benefit of reading and interpreting. My Mom passed when I was 13, and I was already done with the Witnesses by then. Being a Writer was my goal from pretty early on, although I realized that I wouldn't be the Greatest Storyteller, so I tend in the direction of "non-fiction," even though I recognize that most "non-fiction" is actually another form of Fiction, since Language and Things in the World typically only correspond approximately, if that makes any sense. I believe in both Common Sense and Synchronicity, and respecting Others whenever and wherever possible...
I had a writer's thing going too for awhile, so much so that I earned Girl Scout writer's badge. Like you, I eventually steered away from story-telling and poetry then leaned to "nonfiction". By the time I reached High School, archaeology switched to journalism, a very noble profession at the time.
I used to describe myself as a "19th Century Epistolarian, " due to all the letters I used to hand-write. Poetry's a tricky business, although I try to slip some poeticisms into my prose. Maybe "Word Smuggler" is a more apt description--and the odd Concept. These are crazy times, but when haven't they been? There are a lot of bad actors out there with way too much Power, but also a lot of Good People, too. Thank you for the comment!
Thank you for sharing your unique experience. I appreciated Philosophy in community college too. It was mind stretcher yet respected decorum. Surprised myself with one of few higher learning A's ;^)
I wanted to be a musician, because my Uncle was in a rock band. There was no money in playing music, so I learned how to do sound. First I did sound for peace rallies, environmental rallies, native american rallies, human rights rallies, legalize pot rallies, you name it. I did 14 years of Rock Against Racism concerts, and four years on the Rock Against Reagan tour which went to 48 states.
After ten years of that, I finally started to build my first small business. Each successive banker involved crash destroyed all my businesses. I’m now on my fourth. I have little hope in having any kind of retirement. Things are worse than ever, in terms of making a decent living and not selling out.
In Union Square Park, I did sound for you. Which is how we met.
I knew we are kindred spirits going waaay back, LOL. I was a pre-schooler digging in our S Florida backyard for fossilized shells. These were not rare and ended up in neighborhoods after manmade lakes and canals were dredged to build up land for residential development. I have wanted to be an ARCHAEOLOGIST since I was nine years old. Back when there were these things called "libraries", I would check out books about archaeology, Egyptology, dinosaurs, and treasure hunting. I became especially fascinated with Pompeii (to this day). Then in 8th grade when we had to do a report project about our chosen career, I was still into Archaeology (unfortunately this dream job changed when "reality" kicked in High School and College). When the internet arrived as a middle-aged adult, I became what I call an "archaeology aficionado" because my dream as a professional never happened. Then I started hunting topics on the archaeology of North and South American indigenous peoples and found the cultures to be quite different, distinct, and in many cases, very advanced. My last in person thrill was the Pompeii exhibit to Orlando FL back in January 2021. It was just amazing how many REAL ARTIFACTS they brought to that exhibit, including the actual preserved bread loaf from Pompeii! https://orlandodecoded.com/2021/01/07/pompeii-the-immortal-city-at-orlando-science-center/ I only wish I had a cool handle like "Cindyiana Jones" ;o)
My grandfather brought us National Geographic magazines and I learned about these adults who studied landscapes and dug them to learn about the past. Then my third grade teacher was a woman who had done some undergraduate work on whales and oceanic studies; we learned all about whales in her class. I loved it, and her, and became captivated by marine biology.
So cool how your grandfather inspired your early passion! Very similar story to my grandmother, who showed me her turn-of-the-century geography school book (circa 1910) that made her dream about visiting Egypt someday, and she did.
I wanted to be a horse trainer living in the woods with d animals, because people gave me so much grief. After processing my childhood traumas I became an Ayurvedic physician.
Cindiana Jones, I love it!
Thank you!
That's cool. I became a Massage Therapist and Reflexologist/ health advisor.
Were you previously adverse to human beings as I was?
:D
I was really shy and preferred young children and animals for a long time, myself. My daughter does massage therapy and other body work. I could never do that. I barely like getting massages. I do reiki. I don't have to touch anybody. I love hugs and cuddling, though.
It seems like those of us who cannot easily find our way, in the insane society we were born into, have similar threads running through our lives: shyness, peace activism, truth telling of all kinds, etc.
As sensitive souls, especially sensitive children, withdrawal from the insane asylum is a reasonable choice. After spending decades deprogramming and processing the trauma of being born sane in an insane world, we discover the gifts we have to offer, our Dharma.
BTW, I was recently in Ireland and saw the name Sheehan sprinkled around liberally, especially in Dublin, on the side of a truck that sold veggies I think.
It was an amazing experience attending the Tuatha de Danaan festival in Cork. Check out the Substack "The West's Awake" to view some of the presentations. You would love that crowd - 300 Truth tellers and Freedom Fighters from all over the Emerald Isle, were gathered there for the weekend.
The intelligence agencies were there apparently, as my laptop was hacked into and I still havent been able to get it back online.
Ive tried to send you some stuff from the festival, but mail to CindySheehansSoapbox@gmail.com comes back to me.
I suffered from terribly low self esteem and had a bad drinking problem for years.
I think that low self esteem is a consequence of being born a round peg expected to fit into a square hole. You cant figure out whats wrong with you, until you realize that it's not you, it's THEM.
:D
Same here ... I had to force myself to break out of low self esteem.
Have no brothers and sisters, so kept trying to overcome social awkwardness. Learned to laugh at myself and found out others eventually laughed with me not at me, or at least I no longer cared if they laughed at me, lol. Thankfully, like you, I figured out early that the bullies and mean girls were the ones who didn't like themselves. Now I go out in public all the time with an ASD adult son, and places that we frequent are friendly to us :)
That is very cool
I wanted to be a truck driver, but was told by my middle class family that I really wanted to be a doctor or lawyer. I dropped out of college three times, then went to technical school and became an Electronics Technician. I like to fix things, so it was a good choice for me.
nice!
Electronics Technician is what my Dad learned from the GI Bill after WWII. They changed his job description to "Avionics Technician" in the airlines around 1968. It is an excellent skill and he gave his family a great life with it :^)
Kathy, cool!I was an Avionics Tech for 15 years working on General Aviation aircraft.
I wanted to be a truck driver too. I thought it was the best job in the world, to travel coast to coast and get paid for it. I got meself pregnant while in the middle of truck driving school in San Antone. When I told my son's father that I would take the little guy with me on those long hauls, he said, "Oh no you're not." and that was all she wrote, as they say in Texas.
In hindsight, it wouldnt have been so good for a lady unless the hubby was into it too. So it all worked out for the best.
I wanted to be a baseball player. I was pretty good in the neighborhood, but back then they didn't even let girls play in Little League. 😟
Baseball player was my fall back in case I didn't become an archaeologist.
LOL
Oh, and for a very brief time, I wanted to be a nun! 😂
Me too, lol, 1st grade Catholic School. My first nun teacher was an outstanding human being and teacher, a walking saint from Ireland.
I also had some wonderful nun teachers. Some mean ones too! 😎
From my Kindergarten through Grade 5 school years, I wanted to be an Elementary Teacher and that's what I became after many years of university training. Now I'm retired and old, but I will NEVER forget my precious grade 2- grade 4 students. Teaching them to read and write about their highest passions with skill was the love of my life. I often think of them fondly and wonder how they are and where they are, now that they are in their 30's. I've even thought of somehow planning a reunion but that would be difficult as I taught in the USA but I immigrated to Canada 15 years ago. If anyone is considering the teaching profession, I would highly recommend it, especially if you are outgoing and enjoy people. But there is a LOT of preparation in teaching. From my early teaching years until I retired from teaching, my work weeks always came to 65 hours a week, due to all the prep time involved. But all the work and time was worth it because those precious children were such a joy, even now in my old lady memories.
beautiful.
In seventh grade (Catholic School) I determined I wanted to be either a Priest or scientist, because both, I thought, embodied the search for truth. Two years of seminary school cured me of my priestly ambitions. Later, I got a degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences and programming computers became my profession.
As a young boy though, I wanted to be a fireman.
I had zero idea of what I wanted to be.
My school existed to churn out blue collar workers. University was for "the smart kids". to best of my knowledge no one from my school (certainly my year) pursued further education.
With hindsight I'm not so disappointed about this as I've grown to question if the system actually educates or just churns out programmed proles.
More than a profession, I was more concerned by the need to do something with my life. Not in an earth changing aspect (though that would be nice), but I felt a need to break the mould. I hope I achieved this to some degree when migrating from the UK in 1997 to Florida. Although I'm a harsh critic of US politics, I do believe the US has a great deal to offer.
If I could turn back the clock, I think I'd like to have got into politics, though in truth, I don't think my personality would be suited to it. Honesty would be my Achillies heel.
When I was younger, I didn't even know archaeologists earned moneyl
Thank you Cindy for giving us a break from all the god-awful practices of the evil, US empire.
When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a preacher-man because I loved my grandmother's church.
When I was in high school, I wanted to be a civil engineer because I was so good at math. In 1960, I campaigned for JFK after hearing his campaign speech in Baltimore.
In 1966, I dropped out of college and enlisted in the military to make the world safe from all those evil, godless communists in Viet-Nam. I was totally brainwashed by the establishment narrative, and my father and uncles all went to WW-II & Korea to fight the evil fascists and communists, so I felt I had to do my duty for god and country.
After 21-months of trauma in combat, I was a broken man, and began to hate the US for all the killing and destruction we did in Viet-Nam. After returning from the war, I joined Viet-Nam Veterans against the war. I graduated from college on the GI bill as a mining engineer. After five years in the mining industry, I changed careers to become a teacher working with at-risk teens in an alternative high school.
During all this time, my binge drinking and war trauma destroyed two marriages.
In 1992, I lived in a Buddhist monastery and then a Sufi-community for several years to find my way out of the ''dark night of the soul.''
After the Iraq war, I left the US and lived in communist China for a time. There I found my current wife who helped me become a human man person again.
I'm 76 years old now, with lots of old age ailments, and the only things that keep going are the my love of family, and my love of Beauty: nature, art, literature, poetry, and classical music.
I have no way of knowing why I exist in the miracle of self-awareness in my human life form.
I know that death will set me free (Nirvana, per the Buddha), and that I am to help those in need (Mt.25:35-40, per the historical Jesus).
I also know that the heartless, evil, sovereign rulers of the world –who worship wealth, power, greed, hatred, ignorance, stupidity, and glory, –will not be vanquished until a thermal-nuclear war, or a climate catastrophe destroys human civilization.
(thanks for letting me share Cindy)
thanks for sharing!
Lol….
I was expected to be a teacher, so that's what I "wanted". I was probably built to be something like an editor or typographer, and finally ended up using those skills in programming.
My parents steered me that way too, so in college it was "Education Major". I only went as far a AA, but it did help open doors for administrative work in university.
What a great idea...a break from politics by remembering who we are. I didn't have any actual aspirations as a kid. I used to spend a lot of time cooking...never wanted to be a chef....drawing...was intimidated by art teachers... and always writing...I wrote stories as soon as I learned how to read and was always happiest when I was doing so. I also liked leading small gangs of younger kids on adventures in my seaside town which I did pretty well ....like imaginary safaris ...and I loved anything that had to do with movies, theatre and singers...So I guess I basically ended up doing what I wanted. I never ever wanted to have or raise kids but I liked being around them and still do...all ages...teaching them and having fun....we are what we are I guess...I think politics gives me a royal pain in the butt, sleepless nights and headaches...because it's messy and there are no happy endings and no one to take on an adventure that's imaginary...oh wait....lol
Perfect. Xoxo
I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals (still do). Since I came from way old school parents (girls marry and only nursing was accepted as a occupation), I was not supported either mentally or financially. So, I chose to win every contest and scholarship I could (mainly science fairs). Put myself through college with 4 scholarships and working. Ended up with Ms, Ms, PhD. in physiology with biochemistry emphasis. Glad I didn't do vet medicine although I taught pre-vets because of all the treatments shoved down animal owner throats and that you have to deal with so many people.
Wow, what an amazing journey... job very well done!
My first intellectual-type interest at an early age was Geography, which led into History, Politics and Philosophy. I had the bizarre experience of being a Jehovah's Witness from the ages of 6 to 13, which did have the benefit of reading and interpreting. My Mom passed when I was 13, and I was already done with the Witnesses by then. Being a Writer was my goal from pretty early on, although I realized that I wouldn't be the Greatest Storyteller, so I tend in the direction of "non-fiction," even though I recognize that most "non-fiction" is actually another form of Fiction, since Language and Things in the World typically only correspond approximately, if that makes any sense. I believe in both Common Sense and Synchronicity, and respecting Others whenever and wherever possible...
I had a writer's thing going too for awhile, so much so that I earned Girl Scout writer's badge. Like you, I eventually steered away from story-telling and poetry then leaned to "nonfiction". By the time I reached High School, archaeology switched to journalism, a very noble profession at the time.
I am trying to have a "writer's thing" going right now!
Your calling in life, fer sure!
I used to describe myself as a "19th Century Epistolarian, " due to all the letters I used to hand-write. Poetry's a tricky business, although I try to slip some poeticisms into my prose. Maybe "Word Smuggler" is a more apt description--and the odd Concept. These are crazy times, but when haven't they been? There are a lot of bad actors out there with way too much Power, but also a lot of Good People, too. Thank you for the comment!
Thank you for sharing your unique experience. I appreciated Philosophy in community college too. It was mind stretcher yet respected decorum. Surprised myself with one of few higher learning A's ;^)
I only wanted to be loved. No other aspirations. And I think that goal was achieved....but it took decades.
I wanted to be a musician, because my Uncle was in a rock band. There was no money in playing music, so I learned how to do sound. First I did sound for peace rallies, environmental rallies, native american rallies, human rights rallies, legalize pot rallies, you name it. I did 14 years of Rock Against Racism concerts, and four years on the Rock Against Reagan tour which went to 48 states.
After ten years of that, I finally started to build my first small business. Each successive banker involved crash destroyed all my businesses. I’m now on my fourth. I have little hope in having any kind of retirement. Things are worse than ever, in terms of making a decent living and not selling out.
In Union Square Park, I did sound for you. Which is how we met.
I have a Cousin who was in a rock band too. Be bountifully blessed.
I knew we are kindred spirits going waaay back, LOL. I was a pre-schooler digging in our S Florida backyard for fossilized shells. These were not rare and ended up in neighborhoods after manmade lakes and canals were dredged to build up land for residential development. I have wanted to be an ARCHAEOLOGIST since I was nine years old. Back when there were these things called "libraries", I would check out books about archaeology, Egyptology, dinosaurs, and treasure hunting. I became especially fascinated with Pompeii (to this day). Then in 8th grade when we had to do a report project about our chosen career, I was still into Archaeology (unfortunately this dream job changed when "reality" kicked in High School and College). When the internet arrived as a middle-aged adult, I became what I call an "archaeology aficionado" because my dream as a professional never happened. Then I started hunting topics on the archaeology of North and South American indigenous peoples and found the cultures to be quite different, distinct, and in many cases, very advanced. My last in person thrill was the Pompeii exhibit to Orlando FL back in January 2021. It was just amazing how many REAL ARTIFACTS they brought to that exhibit, including the actual preserved bread loaf from Pompeii! https://orlandodecoded.com/2021/01/07/pompeii-the-immortal-city-at-orlando-science-center/ I only wish I had a cool handle like "Cindyiana Jones" ;o)
I wanted to be an archeologist also. And a marine biologist.
I had an interest in marine biology, as well, but didn't want to make it a career. I think dolphins are my spirit animals.
If you don't mind sharing more, do you remember what got you interested in archaeology?
My grandfather brought us National Geographic magazines and I learned about these adults who studied landscapes and dug them to learn about the past. Then my third grade teacher was a woman who had done some undergraduate work on whales and oceanic studies; we learned all about whales in her class. I loved it, and her, and became captivated by marine biology.
So cool how your grandfather inspired your early passion! Very similar story to my grandmother, who showed me her turn-of-the-century geography school book (circa 1910) that made her dream about visiting Egypt someday, and she did.